Have you ever noticed something out of order? Maybe it’s not alphabetical, or not color-coded in the right way - whatever it is, it sticks out because it’s not ordered correctly.
God has a created order for us, and it’s good. We can trust it and rest in it. That doesn’t mean there is not going to be tension, but in the tension we can understand our priorities in the areas God has blessed us.
If you have a family and are blessed to be a leader serving others, you know the tension of leading your marriage and family well, and leading a ministry area or non-profit well. The beauty is in the pursuit of balance. Our home life and ministry life are not enemies, and don’t have to be at war with one another, but we are stewards of both, and at times one may require more attention than the other.
Balance is a constant struggle, and sometimes feels like an unattainable goal. So instead of balance, look for health. God has set our marriage above all other earthly relationships, and our relationship with our kids next. Scripture tells us to look for and empower men and women who have healthy homes and marriages. When a family is right in their relationships, we can trust those same leaders to steward health in the family of God.
Problems arise when we treat home and ministry as independent entities, when they should be intertwined. If our spouses and children are bought into the mission of the ministry, they will embrace the community of the Church and that creates relational health! But if home isn’t right, and leaders continue to serve the church, they are careening down a path towards a destroyed home and marriage. If I’m not first serving my spouse and then my kids, how can I serve the Church-the very Bride of Christ?
I’ve created a short list of questions to ask yourself if there is health at home. Honest responses will show you where God is calling for growth, repentance or change!
- Am I, my spouse and children personally connected to Christ through His Word, through prayer and the Spirit?
- Is my home under the covering of God through my local church? In other words, do we sit under the teaching of a pastor’s pulpit, embrace the accountability in community and submit ourselves to pastoral authority?
- If you asked my spouse or kids where they ranked in importance compared to the ministry, what would they answer?
- Who gets your best? Home or ministry?
- When I’m home, am I fully present or am I disconnected from my family while being around them?
- If there’s a conflict of time or attention, who usually wins? Home or ministry?
I pray that you would hear the voice of the Lord in these questions - His heart for us is health and wholeness. He doesn’t call us to sacrifice our marriages and kids on the altar of the Church. He wants our marriages and families to be healthy, so we can serve others and be an example to the believers in Word and deed!
Andrew Wooddell serves as the Worship Pastor of Calvary Music and Executive Director of Ocean's Edge School of Worship. He is an excellent musician, and a loving husband and father. Learn more about Andrew.